Now I remember why I am rarely in any of the family’s photos. It isn’t that I’m always behind the lens, it is that I choose to be there. I really don’t like having my picture taken. No, let me clarify that statement; I don’t mind having my photo taken, I just don’t like photos of me. I’m simply too self critical. My front teeth are too big, the wrinkles around my eyes are becoming more pronounced, my skin isn’t as smooth and even as it used to be, I wish I could lose another 20 pounds. The list could go on and on.
So my challenge this week wasn’t could I take a photo of myself, but could I take one that I would like enough to post for all the world to see. I tried to take a decent photo of myself. I really did.
I started with the tripod and timer. The images were well composed but. . . I deleted them. Then I gave it a go with natural light, while hand holding my big Nikon. First of all that thing gets heavy after awhile. Second. . . I deleted those too. Then I thought I would just cheat and let my DH or kids take my pic. They did. They were okay too. But. . . that was cheating and not the point of this exercise. So out of frustration I grabbed the camera, lifted it up high and didn’t think about my facial expression when I pressed the shutter release. Hair in a ponytail…no make-up. Just me captured on film.
Hmmm. Not bad. I will admit that I did work a little post process magic. I added a little glow and turned it B/W. I also brushed out the distracting background. So here it is.
So I have decided that one of my year’s resolution will be me in more pictures. No worries, I don’t plan on posting them here. This is one of the rare ones you will see. What I mean is that I will endeavour to give up the camera and be more present in our family’s photos.
More importantly I resolve to put down the camera and be more present in our family’s story. We lost a friend to cancer this week and that led me to a sobering thought. Have I truly been present in our family’s story, or have I been too busy trying to capture it on film? Some of life’s memories are meant to be captured on film, but not all of them.
I believe our lives are meant to be experienced, cherished and captured in our hearts. It’s time to start living that way.